Fan Girl is sensitive

I miss this guy

     It’s just that---this day I’m actually heating-up because of those bashing and attacking that my colleagues are doing. You know as a fangirl you should always support your favorite celebrity, but it doesn't mean that you also have to bash others as well. How can you call yourself a fangirl if you are acting so immature about the way showbiz industry do things?

     We all know that showbiz or entertainment have this kind of world---like turning your heads upside down. I mean entertainment are not always the way you want it, there are times that you have to accept the fact that your celebrity is no longer popular. Things aren't permanent. As fangirls we wish that our favorite celebrities are always on the spotlight and we want them to be the main attraction in this kind of business, but we sometimes disappoints ourselves when things are not in the way we want it.

    Yes, personally, I get hurt for every single time that others are bashing with my celebrity. It felt like you want to just run after those people who don’t know how it hurts to be like us, fangirls. I felt bad when things are rough with them. I felt broke when they are being violated but I don’t want to go on and just be an immature fan doing childish things. I’m not a naive fan; I know how things work in this world, in this industry.

     I was not lifting my chair up but it’s just that, we can support them by being who we are. We don’t need to fight each other, fandom to fandom. That’s not what our celebrities want. Look at it this way; our celebrities are so close together, like they hang-out together, chat together and even sweet with each other. While their fans are bashing each other, violating each other’s right and hurting each other. Isn't ironic, our celebrities bond together and we, fans are bashing each other?

    Be more like a fan than a freak. Act like a fan not a gangster. Support them as a fan not to destroy their image. Sometimes what their fans are doing can affect their career. They get antis because of how their fans act. Aren’t you being ashamed of how you always message them of those encouraging words yet looking down on other celebrity? The thought of how you are very careful of how you took care of your idol yet very clumsy on how you treat the other idol.

     Think about it fellow fangirls; we are millions in numbers and all we want is to get those awards that our idols are also wanting. If we really are their fan we should not waste our time doing those childish stuffs, like kids bullying others. We should use our strength, ourselves and our numbers to be part of those award that they want to have. It is not just an achievement for them but also for us. Enough with those fanwars and everything, why don’t we have a cup of tea sometimes, talking about how great each others’ fandom and celebrities we are engaged to, having those friendly activities will make us be very happy about everything.

     To those who are not yet in the fandom world, you might not understand how hard it is but it is full of fan activities. You might think of how weird we are but I personally grew better when I become a part of this fandom world.

     I want to be always in the optimistic side of everything even if things are in its worst. I don’t know why but whenever I think of how fandom world, how being a fangirl help me become me, I felt like I take an ecstasy and was very hyper. You know, I find being a fangirl really the other me, I mean in this fandom world I broadly see things and I widely understands how to become a person that is  really me.

    The person that doesn't know how to lie to herself, the person who is very much open to look at the other part of her being, I become me without having any insecurities because of the fandom world, you guys, made me feel like I belong here, like I am part of a one very big family. Thank you for welcoming me in this family; you are all the colors in my life.

     If we all just be rational, we can still get what we really want for being a fangirl for our celebrity. Like in economics; if you and your friend found a hundred peso bill and he said that you will get a peso and he will get the 99 pesos, if you are a rational thinker you will agree in whatever sharing he will proposed. Rational thinking means that it is okay for you to have whatever as long as you get whatever. The point is “At least I got something” same thing with us, even if it is painful to accept the fact that our celebrities lose, at least they are on the nominees list or at least they are nominated and on the top 10 or whatever their rank is, at least they are on the rank. The most awards that they can get are the support that their fans are giving them. When their fans are there they will continue on shinning and there are always these people that will never let them down. =)

*Sorry for the long post I got there, hope it made sense…*

G . L . E . K . S .

We are MainEuniKatCheRein~

Chen, Rein, Euni, Kat, Maine

Hello there!

   I would like to present to you my ELFsters. (hahaha)

   Okay we are High School friends and I’m proud to say that I made them a fangirl of one fandom, ELF! Some of us are not just an ELF, Chen—VIP and Blackjack and Rein—Boyfriend fan. The rest of us is pure ELF. I would admit that I am a total ELF, I and Kat are great buddies. Kat was the one asking me if we want to buy those ELF stuff. I consider Kat as my closest of them all; we’ve been to the same group clan, text clan everything about Super Junior. We understand each other, even in our fantasy. She knows how to be unreal like me. (hahaha)

   I’m happy that I found this great people in my High School. I merely can’t imagine my life without their color. A High School without their great support to my fangirling activity is a dull senior year to me.

S . K . E . L . G

   Thank you guys, for sharing, baring and laughing for all my craziness over Super Junior, I should have been an outcast without you guys. You guys give me the foundation of true friendship, I mean you all know my story and such, but you brought the new hope that not all the times girls betrayed their friends. I’m grateful because you were all their to listen, to laugh, to sing, to dance with me and to fall in love with the guy that we know that is impossible to meet.

What I got for today...Fangirling Activity

So... today I got all this stuffs Delivered in our house.

My Goodness!!! These are really Great Stuffs! I mean, we saw it on Facebook, then we ordered it and Whoala!!! I got it on hand.

A-CHA T-SHIRT that My Friends and I Bought.....

The actual package

3 A-Cha T-shirt(XS) inside

Leeteuk A-Cha Shirt

Donghae A-Cha Shirt

Kyuhyun A-Cha Shirt

SUPER JUNIOR BIRTHDAY BALLER

We also bought this XD

Opening the package

these are the 3 baller

Kyu, Teuk and Hae

Donghae (shirt&baller), Leeteuk (shirt&baller) & Kyuhyun (shirt&baller)

Donghae, Leetuk and Kyuhyun's signiture on our baller.

Super Junior Leader (Few Stuffs)

Unpacking...

A-Cha (Shirt&Lanyard), Mr. Simple (Lanyard&Mini) B-day Baller

Just so you know, I'm an ANGEL (Leeteuk Leader fan)

These kinds of things will satisfy the needs of being a fangirl. The need to have their bias closer to them even if it is just by having their name around them and all. Aside for having an Album, this is also a way of saying you support them in everything you had, because you’re proud you have it and glad you wear it in public. (Total Fangirl)

Dinner for Tonight

What I had for dinner?

Well I’m not a rice person since I started my diet. Every dinner I just ate some bread and milk but for tonight I ate different food.

This is Puto Bungbong. It is famous in the Philippines every Christmas season. It is sweet and delicious. (I’m eating another piece right now)

This is Barbeque. Smoking, spicy and tender pork meat.

Yum!!!

 Strawberry filling Flakes!

Yum!!!

This is one of my favorite flakes because it has (of course) strawberry filling. The smell and everything makes my appetite awake.

Thanks to Ellie, my college friend, my block mate. She gave me this and now I enjoy eating it.^^

Ahhhhhh...
Done eating it.

To Seoul

Me and Rona <my sister>

We went to check-out plane tickets for Seoul. We just can't wait to finally go there and eat tteokpokki (YUM!).

Topic: FAN GIRL

In our English class earlier this day, our professor asked us to do FREE WRITING. He gave us 12 minutes to write about whatever topic will pop into our heads.

The first thing that comes into my mind is the word FANDOM but then as I write things about it, it sounds to be about FAN GIRL.

“ Have you been addicted to someone, celebrity to be specific? How do you feel when you become his/her fan?

Well, I’ve been to this fandom, ELF, for about 4 years now. I never get tired of being one of them because as a fangirl, I can express whatever I want to say because we have the same topics and we updated each other.

Do you know Super Junior?

-A Korean boy band that is composed of 13 handsome and talented gentlemen. They are the one I’m addicted to. I am not ashamed even if you stereotype as other ELF is. I am just being me and no one can really tell who you really are unless you don’t know your own self.

I know what I like and the things that will make me happy. Being a fangirl doesn’t really mean that you are like stalkers and so. I believe that being a fangirl can make you realize who you really want to be in the future.

You will get inspired for someone and because of that you will learn to love each and everything in your life; you can find friends that you never expected to meet and lastly, you can also inspired someone by simply sharing what are the good points of being an expressive fan.

Fandoms don’t always have positive side. They also have flaws because we are humans and humans commit mistakes. I agree to that. I, myself notice it; fandoms fight each other while their artists are very close to another. Sometimes, it is also about things that you want to buy to fulfill the fangirl side of you, those things are sometimes expensive. Bu because you are a fan, you can’t take that away. ”


That's what I wrote. What do you think?

Yehey!

I am glad that my internet connection is finally working.

For the past days I’ve got nothing to do but to watch TV and to read updates through my phone. I’m so sad without internet connection.

How can I blog?

How can I facebook?

How can I tweet?

How can I tumblr?

And lastly, how can I read those lectures online?

I was so grateful that the connection is doing fine now.

Gosh I have a lot of stuffs to talk about. About my Expo tour in different networks here in the Philippines: GMA and ABS-CBN.

Okay, first of all I want to say HI!!!

(Hahaha, retarded mode again, mian.)

Our trip was held on Nov. 29. It is always sad to say that Filipinos can’t stick to the time being said, I mean Filipino Time.

Yes, the officers told us that we have to at the registration place at exactly 4 o’clock or else we will be left out. So my mom drove me there 5 minutes before 4 o’clock. What did I find there? Well, the gate is still close and there are my colleagues waiting for the guard to open it. And what’s funny is that I found –out that the officers forgot to tell the guards that we will be having our trip and the buss will go there soon. See? Officers should check or at least double check everything first before they plan everything and decided on something.

Enough of that Filipino Time…

Fan Girl Mode 2

I miss you Kim Heechul.

You're unique being makes me want to know you even more.

I hope someday I will have lunch with you.

Aish. I miss your voice, that made me feel like I'm in fairy-tale.

Fan Girl Mode

Just got home...

JungSu: Why are you late? You didn't even phone me. I was worried sick.

Me: Oppah, mianhae. I just got so busy and forgot about the time. Baegopa?

JungSu: Why call me Oppah? Why not Yeobo? *pouts*

Me: *laughs* Aigoo, my JungSu is so handsome. *hugs*

JungSu: Arayo. *laughs*

Me: Kaja, mokko. I'll cook for you.

JungSu: Already did. *peck on the cheek*

Me: *whispers* Yeobo? Saranghae ♥

JungSu: Nado, Saranghae ♥

"There's nothing wrong if you're in love with your Bias. The only wrong thing is when you expect him to love you back."

Sad WISH

As I said a while ago, TVXQ’s WISH makes me feel better. But after seeing this fanmade video I don’t know what happen, I felt sad and now I’m crying. *tears*

I don’t like seeing them cry and that’s why I keep on voting for their win.

*JungSu came*

“What's wrong?”

“Look, your… no this video makes me sad.” *cries even harder*

“*looks at the monitor* You shouldn’t be sad. Those are all great memories.” JungSu wipe those tears

*sigh*

-He really knows what to do

SUPER JUNIOR, THE LAST MAN STANDING!

TVXQ feat. Kyuhyun and Ryeowook

Good day!

   Okay, recently I was addicted to TVXQ’s WISH featuring Kyuhyun and Ryeowook. I don’t know why but every time I listen to this song, it makes me feel better. I can’t close myself to being a CASSIE, though my mother fandom is ELF. It’s just that I really like this song and as I search some of TVXQ’s songs, I fell in love with their voice. KYAAAA!!!

   Not bad to be a CASSIE but still I’m an ELF and no one can change that. I can be whatever I want to be, right? Well, I still don’t have a bias in TVXQ, though I like U-KNOW in KBS POSEIDON, he looks tough, I like.

*here comes JUNGSU’s death glare*

   “Mianhae, Jungsu~oppah, U are still the one! Chunmal! I just find U-KNOW quite my type.”

*JUNGSU walks out*

KYAAA!!! “What should I do???”

BYE!

*runs after him*

I don’t have the reason to get JEALOUS! (but…)

I know you’re not mine, but I hope that someday you’ll be. I know I’m just a fangirl and you might not even know me, but I’ll never stop believing that someday we might cross the same road. I know it’s just for a show, but who knows if you really had developed feelings toward her. I know I don’t have to say this, but I can’t help myself hurting, like a broken glass that even if you try to stick together there’s still a mark. Hurting like I know myself I should not felt. Hurting that I know I don’t have the right to have. Hurting that only I was the one who know. Hurting that no one will ever understand how much it causes me heartache. Hurting but I still can’t help myself having. And lastly, hurting that I know I love you even more.

****************************

Early this morning my friend and I were talking about “CRYING THING”. She then said, “Why did someone cried on SS4? OA!” (She knows how much I love SUPER JUNIOR) “That ‘OA’ is MY BIAS. He cried because even if it is hard for him to perform with lesser members on stage, he had to deal with it because he is the leader and a leader should be strong. He is not OA, OKAY?! I am an ELF and I won’t force you if you don’t like them but please don’t say such things.” I said in mind, “If I were to choose between you and being an ELF, I surely chose being an ELF without hesitation.”

Tears are the best way to say….

Tears aren’t always the best way to show our feelings.

How can it be the best way if you always want to hide it whenever someone is there?

How can you say you show yourself to others when your ashamed of telling them it really hurts.

Tears aren’t the best way to show our feelings.

Tears made us weak and vulnerable, that’s why we are afraid to let it out.

Tears are not made for guys (stereotype) because man should be strong with their emotions (that’s stupid).

Tears are girls’ thing, because we are weak, sensitive and we have high level of emotions. (Stereotype)

*********************

Tears are the best way to feel that we are human.

Tears made us release our tensions in life.

Tears are made because if things went wrong and no one is there, it will show, so you can feel the warmth of being with someone.

Tears are not just for weaklings, it is also for the one who is strong. A strong person is never afraid to show how much he/she wants to cry in front of others.

********************

A fan cries whenever he sees his IDOL OPPAH crying. Why?

That is her way of saying things may not be better now, but it will be okay when times get right.

That is her way of saying it might be hard for now, but we can get it through.

That is her way of saying, no matter how hard; I will stay here with you.

That is her way of saying, “Oppah, don’t cry. I want to see you smile.”

And lastly, her way of saying, “I love you and I will protect you with these little hands of mine. I will secure you with my little arms and I will be here for you when you felt like world is not your friend.”

A fangirl is not always a crazy stalker and stupid K-pop addict. We are fangirl because we have someone to protect. We have someone to love.

“I am a fangirl because I choose to be and I get strength whenever my IDOL OPPAH is always there to show his love for me.”

GIFs

My Angel

My Kiss

My Laugh

My Heart

For You...

Goodnight^^

-This is my fantasy, my world. 

You can't judge me for whatever I wanted to believe in.

What do I want to confess?

I want to confess everything that I will feel; I am feeling and what I felt during every time.

I will confess things that a fangirl sometimes afraid to reveal.

I will share things and thoughts that my mind wants to share in front of her friends but afraid that her friends might not able to relate on whatever she is saying.

With this blog I will be a free fangirl.

I will be a good story-teller.

I will become your good friend.

Lastly, I will finally be whoever I want to be.

How did I come up to the Idea of having this blog as a FanGirl Confession?

-Well, I am one of those FANGIRLS out there. As a fangirl, I realized things better than anyone else. I know there are some who won’t understand how I felt whenever they try to discriminate and humiliate my fandom. Yes, I am proud of my fandom, I am one of the millions of ELF all over the world, I am not afraid to show it to the world. I become ELF and I regret nothing. Rather than feeling down of all the discrimination that I sometimes got, I find strength to stand proudly because when I am not a fangirl before I am weak, I depend on my friends so much, but being an ELF made me a strong woman. I am currently in my 3 years of being an ELF and counting. Whatever happens to SUPER JUNIOR, I will always be there, and I don’t care how hard it may be all I know is that they taught me how to stand firm and fearless all the time.

But you were never MINE

The feeling of being in the state of jealousy is the one thing I really wanted to avoid.

I don’t know how did I came to this state but all I know is that I hate it that much.

Why can’t I be free from this feeling?

I envy those girls who can be with you whenever you want to be.

I’m jealous of that one girl who can make you laugh, talk non-sense and drink with you.

I want to be with you too.

I want to make you laugh, talk non-sense and even if I can’t drink, I want my first glass of liquor together with you.

I want to show you the most of you: your smile, your laughter, your tears and the feelings that you always wanted to show, that feeling you can say that you are also human.

That feeling you want to be wanted to feel when you think that the world is against you.

I want to be in your side and make you do those things that you were longing to feel free.

I want to hold your hand when anybody else is avoiding you.

I want to give you a hug when you need someone to warm your cold heart.

I want to be the person you always wanting in your life.

I want you to be with me too.

The problem is…

You were never mine.

You never knew I exist.

You never thought of someone as passionate as me.

You never knew how much I am willing to give everything just to be with you.

But…

Even though you don’t know me YET, you will know me soon.

Even if you never thought of me YET, I know you will think of me soon.

Even if you don’t know how much I can sacrifice YET, I know things will pay off soon.

Though you were never mine…

I will not stop loving you.

I will not give-up on you.

I will stay with you.

And I will always care for you no matter how tough things went; I will never let that beat me.

************************************

Jealousy, you’ll die soon.

I will not let you beat me and be the leader of my emotion!

Magical Moment

Isn’t fascinating when you finally found the one happiness that you’ve been searching for in your life? 

That magical moment that brings your life into the fantasy and at the same time in the reality of being a human.

That moment when you find the one and only person who could bring the sunshine in the middle of the storm and stays with you until all is gone.

That moment when you realize that you have all the love that you can get without knowing that just being you brought that love back.

That fantasy that you always want to be in is finally making its way to reach you and become a part of your reality.

That magic you never once believe in will make you believe because of the certain things you wish that came true.

That person you once become enemy that is now your greatest friend.

That magical feeling that you felt when you first fall in love, he might not be the love you want to last but the love that makes you grow.

That magical event that you never hope of coming true is now happening in your life.

That person you always want to meet in person is now with you face to face.

That fantastic place that you never wish to be in there is now letting you enter with the man you always wanted.

And lastly, the final event, that magical moment, that fantastic feeling and that wonderful person are all in one occasion. Your heart, your mind, your soul and your dreams you dedicate in your fantasy is now the foundation of your reality.

Happy Birthday FISHY, LEE DONGHAE

Lee Donghae~ssi,

Happy birthday. I hope you have fun today.

You are as sweet as candy.
Cute as baby.
Lovely as flower.

I've seen you cry, which made me die.
I've seen you hurt, and I felt broke.
I've seen you smile, that made me high.

A man like you is as sincere as the sky.
I can see it through your deep puppy eye.
I have no doubt of you becoming a great man.
The arms you have will not give harm.

You might not know how I love you so.
Not as Bias but as a man I know.
Hope Leeteuk~ssi won't get jealous,
Because he owns me the most.

I'm glad that you came life.
Because of you, we feel alive.

Hope you like the poem I made.
This is the first time and i am glad.
I made it just for you to have.
Because it's your birthday,
the moment that we are all thankful to celebrate.

I thank your Father and Mother because you are here with us together.^^

Love,
@Sharmaine1004

Letter for KIM HEECHUL

To 김희철,

Good day to you.

To be honest, I cannot find the words to say while writing this letter. I don’t know how to start this because my heart is melting. The fact that you are going to leave for a while is an emotional thing for me. I only know you for some time and I felt like I was attached to the entire super junior member. Since 김영운 left, I thought I could handle my emotions well, but I was wrong.

You are one of the reason why super junior continues its journey, aside from your leader, I am also a fan of yours. I find you the opposite of 박정수. But I know you also have this soft side in you. As you said, you are not good at expressing your feelings but your eyes told me the true you. I can see that you are sad, not just sad but much lonely than anybody else. Though words cannot tell, but your eyes speak it.

I finally have the guts to say that you are a must love person. Not just because of your unique personality but because of the real 김희철. The real you is when you update us whenever you tweet.  The real you is when you dance in the beat. The real you is when you sing with all your heart. Lastly, the real you is the man that only you can look as beautiful as anyone else. That is you 김희철.

To cut it short, I wish you good luck. I want you to take care of yourself, you precious 김희철. Stay beautiful as always. And come back, for we, ELF is waiting patiently to see you again. We will pray for super junior to be united again. 김희철, See you again! Fighting!

Love,

Sharmaine