Sad WISH

As I said a while ago, TVXQ’s WISH makes me feel better. But after seeing this fanmade video I don’t know what happen, I felt sad and now I’m crying. *tears*

I don’t like seeing them cry and that’s why I keep on voting for their win.

*JungSu came*

“What's wrong?”

“Look, your… no this video makes me sad.” *cries even harder*

“*looks at the monitor* You shouldn’t be sad. Those are all great memories.” JungSu wipe those tears

*sigh*

-He really knows what to do

SUPER JUNIOR, THE LAST MAN STANDING!

TVXQ feat. Kyuhyun and Ryeowook

Good day!

   Okay, recently I was addicted to TVXQ’s WISH featuring Kyuhyun and Ryeowook. I don’t know why but every time I listen to this song, it makes me feel better. I can’t close myself to being a CASSIE, though my mother fandom is ELF. It’s just that I really like this song and as I search some of TVXQ’s songs, I fell in love with their voice. KYAAAA!!!

   Not bad to be a CASSIE but still I’m an ELF and no one can change that. I can be whatever I want to be, right? Well, I still don’t have a bias in TVXQ, though I like U-KNOW in KBS POSEIDON, he looks tough, I like.

*here comes JUNGSU’s death glare*

   “Mianhae, Jungsu~oppah, U are still the one! Chunmal! I just find U-KNOW quite my type.”

*JUNGSU walks out*

KYAAA!!! “What should I do???”

BYE!

*runs after him*

I don’t have the reason to get JEALOUS! (but…)

I know you’re not mine, but I hope that someday you’ll be. I know I’m just a fangirl and you might not even know me, but I’ll never stop believing that someday we might cross the same road. I know it’s just for a show, but who knows if you really had developed feelings toward her. I know I don’t have to say this, but I can’t help myself hurting, like a broken glass that even if you try to stick together there’s still a mark. Hurting like I know myself I should not felt. Hurting that I know I don’t have the right to have. Hurting that only I was the one who know. Hurting that no one will ever understand how much it causes me heartache. Hurting but I still can’t help myself having. And lastly, hurting that I know I love you even more.

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Early this morning my friend and I were talking about “CRYING THING”. She then said, “Why did someone cried on SS4? OA!” (She knows how much I love SUPER JUNIOR) “That ‘OA’ is MY BIAS. He cried because even if it is hard for him to perform with lesser members on stage, he had to deal with it because he is the leader and a leader should be strong. He is not OA, OKAY?! I am an ELF and I won’t force you if you don’t like them but please don’t say such things.” I said in mind, “If I were to choose between you and being an ELF, I surely chose being an ELF without hesitation.”

Tears are the best way to say….

Tears aren’t always the best way to show our feelings.

How can it be the best way if you always want to hide it whenever someone is there?

How can you say you show yourself to others when your ashamed of telling them it really hurts.

Tears aren’t the best way to show our feelings.

Tears made us weak and vulnerable, that’s why we are afraid to let it out.

Tears are not made for guys (stereotype) because man should be strong with their emotions (that’s stupid).

Tears are girls’ thing, because we are weak, sensitive and we have high level of emotions. (Stereotype)

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Tears are the best way to feel that we are human.

Tears made us release our tensions in life.

Tears are made because if things went wrong and no one is there, it will show, so you can feel the warmth of being with someone.

Tears are not just for weaklings, it is also for the one who is strong. A strong person is never afraid to show how much he/she wants to cry in front of others.

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A fan cries whenever he sees his IDOL OPPAH crying. Why?

That is her way of saying things may not be better now, but it will be okay when times get right.

That is her way of saying it might be hard for now, but we can get it through.

That is her way of saying, no matter how hard; I will stay here with you.

That is her way of saying, “Oppah, don’t cry. I want to see you smile.”

And lastly, her way of saying, “I love you and I will protect you with these little hands of mine. I will secure you with my little arms and I will be here for you when you felt like world is not your friend.”

A fangirl is not always a crazy stalker and stupid K-pop addict. We are fangirl because we have someone to protect. We have someone to love.

“I am a fangirl because I choose to be and I get strength whenever my IDOL OPPAH is always there to show his love for me.”

GIFs

My Angel

My Kiss

My Laugh

My Heart

For You...

Goodnight^^

-This is my fantasy, my world. 

You can't judge me for whatever I wanted to believe in.

What do I want to confess?

I want to confess everything that I will feel; I am feeling and what I felt during every time.

I will confess things that a fangirl sometimes afraid to reveal.

I will share things and thoughts that my mind wants to share in front of her friends but afraid that her friends might not able to relate on whatever she is saying.

With this blog I will be a free fangirl.

I will be a good story-teller.

I will become your good friend.

Lastly, I will finally be whoever I want to be.

How did I come up to the Idea of having this blog as a FanGirl Confession?

-Well, I am one of those FANGIRLS out there. As a fangirl, I realized things better than anyone else. I know there are some who won’t understand how I felt whenever they try to discriminate and humiliate my fandom. Yes, I am proud of my fandom, I am one of the millions of ELF all over the world, I am not afraid to show it to the world. I become ELF and I regret nothing. Rather than feeling down of all the discrimination that I sometimes got, I find strength to stand proudly because when I am not a fangirl before I am weak, I depend on my friends so much, but being an ELF made me a strong woman. I am currently in my 3 years of being an ELF and counting. Whatever happens to SUPER JUNIOR, I will always be there, and I don’t care how hard it may be all I know is that they taught me how to stand firm and fearless all the time.

But you were never MINE

The feeling of being in the state of jealousy is the one thing I really wanted to avoid.

I don’t know how did I came to this state but all I know is that I hate it that much.

Why can’t I be free from this feeling?

I envy those girls who can be with you whenever you want to be.

I’m jealous of that one girl who can make you laugh, talk non-sense and drink with you.

I want to be with you too.

I want to make you laugh, talk non-sense and even if I can’t drink, I want my first glass of liquor together with you.

I want to show you the most of you: your smile, your laughter, your tears and the feelings that you always wanted to show, that feeling you can say that you are also human.

That feeling you want to be wanted to feel when you think that the world is against you.

I want to be in your side and make you do those things that you were longing to feel free.

I want to hold your hand when anybody else is avoiding you.

I want to give you a hug when you need someone to warm your cold heart.

I want to be the person you always wanting in your life.

I want you to be with me too.

The problem is…

You were never mine.

You never knew I exist.

You never thought of someone as passionate as me.

You never knew how much I am willing to give everything just to be with you.

But…

Even though you don’t know me YET, you will know me soon.

Even if you never thought of me YET, I know you will think of me soon.

Even if you don’t know how much I can sacrifice YET, I know things will pay off soon.

Though you were never mine…

I will not stop loving you.

I will not give-up on you.

I will stay with you.

And I will always care for you no matter how tough things went; I will never let that beat me.

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Jealousy, you’ll die soon.

I will not let you beat me and be the leader of my emotion!

Magical Moment

Isn’t fascinating when you finally found the one happiness that you’ve been searching for in your life? 

That magical moment that brings your life into the fantasy and at the same time in the reality of being a human.

That moment when you find the one and only person who could bring the sunshine in the middle of the storm and stays with you until all is gone.

That moment when you realize that you have all the love that you can get without knowing that just being you brought that love back.

That fantasy that you always want to be in is finally making its way to reach you and become a part of your reality.

That magic you never once believe in will make you believe because of the certain things you wish that came true.

That person you once become enemy that is now your greatest friend.

That magical feeling that you felt when you first fall in love, he might not be the love you want to last but the love that makes you grow.

That magical event that you never hope of coming true is now happening in your life.

That person you always want to meet in person is now with you face to face.

That fantastic place that you never wish to be in there is now letting you enter with the man you always wanted.

And lastly, the final event, that magical moment, that fantastic feeling and that wonderful person are all in one occasion. Your heart, your mind, your soul and your dreams you dedicate in your fantasy is now the foundation of your reality.