July 1, 2011

Realizing that...



Have you ever realized that the person you thought you'd loved forever will be buried in the past? The thought that, you never planned to bury him/her in the past, it’s just so happen that one day you woke-up in the morning that you don’t have feelings anymore. You don’t know the reasons why it fades or why so sudden you hate him/her. All you know is that the time is up for the both of you.

I had this feeling too. I don’t know why but I know that it is the best for the both of us. Though he gave his all; his time, effort, attention, etc., but there’s something that isn’t right. My mind and heart both of them agreed to stop pretending and told me that I don’t really love him. The thing that I’ve been wondering about is that, I knew that from the start I do love him, but I just can’t explain why does it have to fade, vanished in the past.

I’ll tell you the story behind this situation….

I had this charming guy, who approached me and ask me out. At first I thought he is so nice and he is respectful, which he is, really. We’ve known each other for almost a year or so. Then suddenly he asked me to be his girlfriend, I know I fall from him so that time I say ‘YES’. We do the same thing and he became more affectionate, and he never stops saying he loves me, those words, they’re sweet. That time I know I might not find a better one than him.

Until so sudden, this heart of mine stops beating for him. My head rejected a thought of him. I don’t even remember I miss him or so. I never told him I love him and never been as affectionate as he was. I realized something is wrong; some things are not the same. “Why is this so?” I asked myself. Then my heart suddenly utters the words, “Because I don’t feel anything for him.” My mind added, “as well as I, I don’t even want to think of him nor missed him.” You might be thinking this is silly but that’s the truth, the painful truth.

The only stupidity I did is that, I never tried to tell him those feelings of mine. I keep it until he was the one who break the bond between us. He found someone else. I know it was my fault and I don’t regret what I did, at least he never gets hurt by my words, nor do I when he got a new girl. Rather than hate him and curse her, I told him to take good care of the girl and to the girl as well.

That’s the story behind those feelings. I realized that, you may be sure for him now, but sooner you will realize that it might hurt him/her.

Good Day!